Gir likes pancakes
by MelissaRed56
Summary: This is probabley the most random story ive ever done. Zim makes a device and things go all crazy and theres a better summary inside.mainly just for enjoyment but RnRs are appreciated.
1. do you like pancakes?

**Summary:** Zim makes a new device that will surely help him take over the dreaded planted earth. With his mind he can create anything (to a certain extent) and the device will process it and make it real. For example: if he thinks of a moose the device will take that image from his brain and process it into something real. Unfortunately, things tend to go wrong and the end is dreadful. Anyways, I hope this both confuses you until the need calls for aspirin and the random and crude humor makes the bowels of your stomach to quench immensely until it bursts forth like a luscious fountain of… rainbowness. In other words… enjoy. This is just my state of boredom... rated T for language

Disclaimer: I dont own any characters but i do own the cursing catus...youll know what i mean in the next chapter...

**Chapter 1: do you like pancakes?**

It began in the deep tunnels of Zim's altering mind. He had fallen asleep from his long and torturous day from the dreaded fad humans called there disgusting excuse of an education. _School. _The thought of such a place made him want to upchuck the tie-dye colors to which were his intestines. (If you don't have an effing clue to which I'm talking about, it solely means to throw up…). The only thing that kept him from doing such a horrendous task was the thought of his crazed obsession for the dominance of this lowly planet these meaty creatures of the highest population have a tendency to call "earth".

Snoring loudly Zim then awoke with a load "Hahaaaaaaa" and jumped to his feet. "Yessssss, I have it…. the ultimate device that will surely put this. …This…. PLANET!…. into total destruction of my obvious reiiigggggn." He laughed clenching his fists in the air (mini moose fly's by in the back round, squeaking loudly and throwing confetti). Jumping from his computer seat, he hastily pressed the button to the speaker box in which sounded with a load noise from the speaker.

"Yes my master!" said a most arrogant and distraught voice coming from the other end.

" GIR! Get my tools from the tool room immediately! I have a plan…a most wonderful plan…and start the machines in room 208…were going to have to take out the big cannons for this little scheme!" Zim announced.

" Oooooooohhh ok master!…. I also went to the grocery store while you were sleeeping and I got you some –ROASTED PIGS! They were on sale for 2.95! And some more waffles, and the cheetos, and some of that liquor you like, and sooomeee CHESSY MUFFINS! Which I think contains an unknown substance of fruity flavor…."

" That's very nice Gir…. NOW GET ME MY DAMN TOOLS!" Zim yelled and switched Gir off the speaker.

Zim Raced out of the computer room and headed down toward the laboratory. Laughing immeasurably. He ran down passageways and corridors that were built many feet below his almost human looking home. Not even the most advanced humans could equal to the ingeniousness of the structure to which zim had built.

" That stupid boy named…_ Dib_ will not foil my plans this time! This device will be the perfect weapon! Soon all of this _filthy _planet will be mine!" Laughing even louder Zim opened up the laboratory door. Gir was already inside.

"Look master! I found my moose!"

"That's nice Gir…. NOW GET OUT OF HERE! Unless I must inject you with sulfide once again from what happen last time you found that monstrosity of yours…"

"Yes master!" Gir said sternly, his eyes turning red and saluting his incompetent master. He zoomed out of the laboratory doors and they closed behind him. Then going back to his regular stance, he pressed the moosy object between his robotic hands and it gave a short little "squeak". Giggling like a mad man he flew away and out of site.

**AN:** cough the next best thing since Harry Potter wouldn't you say? This is what boredom (and the sickness for which I have) has reduced me to…sad isn't it?


	2. I like pancakes

**Chapter 2: I like pancakes**

After working for many hours zim had finally completed his device to which he called " your doom". Being so proud of it he decided that he would take it to school and show it for show in tell. (not like any body was to suspect him of being an alien anyways..).

The contraption was locked on to zims arm, and looked somewhat like a large water gun. A strange tube looking thing was connected to the "your doom" device and went inside his brain (which took him hours to put inside, cause last time it started giving him trets…)

Walking towards the school zim laughed evilly " ha Haaaaa! Nobody will suspect this! NOBODY! I AM A GENIOUS! A SHER GEN-

Suddenly, Dib walked up near zim with a similar contraption strapped to his arm (except it was red and called "not your doom")

"Ohhhh" said dib. "Nice device, you DEVICE STEALER!"

" WHAT! HOW DARE YOU! THIS WAS MY IDEA YOU DISGUSTINHG TREE PIG!" Zim shouted.

" NO! THIS WAS MY IDEA! YOU…… YOU ALIEN…THING! Dib shouted back.

At this moment you would expect their to be a large crowd, but the only organisms paying attention to these two was a crazy staring boy with an ice cream cone and his crazy staring dog who started twitching.

Zim laughed " ok_ dib _so we both made the same device…interesting…very…but I assure you mine is more superior to your piece of …….of……TRASH!"

Dib stared at zim seeing that zim was pretty much making fun of his own device because they both looked exactly the same.

Zim continued. " We'll see whose is better!" Zim concentrated really hard and suddenly a light erupted from the gun to the ground like lightning. A man appeared from the smoke of the lightning and walked up to dib and back handed him with a glove " I challenge you!" he said and the walked away…

Zim laughed. Dib growled and concentrated really hard as the tube connected to his head from the gun shook. Light erupted from his gun and did the same as zim's had done. Thick smoke enveloped the area and shadowy figure came out.

" Hey everybody! Look what I can to do!" said a crazy psychotic clown, smiling like a mad man as he started juggling gophers in his hands.

Dib and zim stared stupidly at the clown.

" well… it looks like you need practice _dib_." Zim laughed.

Dib stared at him. " Why do you always put my name in italics?"

Zim shrugged. " I don' kno"

" Well…..you just wait zim! I will not let you destroy this planet!"

" MUAHAHAHA WILL SEEE DIB, WELL SEE!" zim shouted. " I THINK ITS TIME FOR YOU TO BE…………NOT …TRYING TO STOP ME!"

Dib stared and then took a battle position.

" BRING IT YOU ALIEN SCUM!"

At that moment zim produced another figure from his device. A ninja.

Dib produced a monkey……(wow that sounds wrong…)

" HIIIYEAAAAAA!" The ninja screamed. Waving out his hand he took a glass substance, containing disappearing smoke and threw it to the ground. The smoke came out in a short little "poof" and disappeared.

The monkey became enraged and jumped on the ninjas face. Screaming and running about in all directions the ninja flew away.

Zim growled and began to produce another image figure. Dib began to do the same. This time zim created a dog with rabies. Dib produced a cactus that began swearing immensely. (Whoa I'm dizzy... random)

" HA HAAAA GO NOW YOU VICIUOSE DOG MONSTER AND- AHHHH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! DON'T ATTACK ME! AHH MY INTESTINES!"

" YOU BASTARDS! I WAS FUCKING SLEEPING, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DESERT! I CANT SURVIVE IN THESE FUCKING CONDITIONS YOU STUPID SHIT MONKEYS!" The cactus shouted. ( even though it made no movement what's so ever and confused dib on how it was speaking seeing as it didn't have a face……)

While the dog continued to attack zim and the cactus continued to curse. Dib concentrated again and another figure appeared. This time it was a flock of penguins.

" Damn! I really do suck at this.." Dib proclaimed.

The penguins scattered all about and the dog that had attacked zim got tired and flew away as well.

Zim, looking quite beat up, triggered his gun device towards dib and out of the gun came flying a dozen rapid squirrels.

Dib screamed like a little girl and coward behind the cactus.

"What! Don't hide behind me you stupid little shit! I'm not a fucking- HOLY SHIT SQUIRRELS!" The squirrels started attacking the cactus and other people around them.

Dib pointed his trigger at zim and a giraffe appeared out of the smoke. It laughed and fell backwards.

Cursing, dib flew out from under the cactus and ran towards a tree but unfortunately tripped over a penguin.

Soon the area became their battlefield as objects, people and other crazy things went flying everywhere.

Suddenly Gir came flying from out of know where on top of mini moose.

" AHHHHH PENGUINS!" He shouted and grabbed one of them and stuffed it inside of his head and did a little jig.

Zim looked at mini moose and a grin showed on his face. " haaa Haaaaa mooses!" he shouted and out from his device appeared a very large moose.

Dib laughed, " What's that supposed to do zim? Hoof me to death! Hehehehe….hoof."

Suddenly the moose shot laser beams out of its eyes and destroyed a building nearby.

"oh…" dib said and ran the opposite direction, but pointed his gun towards zim.

Unfortunately not able to concentrate hard enough , instead of producing something to defend him he produced a dancing grape fruit with a stick in its head.

Laughing loudly Zim produced a gigantic robot from his gun. Dib, able to concentrate better, produced Godzilla.

" HAA HAAA WHAT NOW BEEOTCH!" dib shouted and ,producing a gigantic pig, he rode off towards the city.

Zim produced a giant rabbit that could fly and flew after dib. All the things they had created before followed behind them and began to destroy the city.

Zim shot out at dib with his gun and dib back at him. Soon flying beavers of doom began to rain down upon the city.( and not by there doing I'm afraid…)

Dib got on top of a large building. " Ok zim now you've asked for it!"

Concentrating really hard a figure stepped out of his gun.

" Hi everybody! I'm superman!"

" Superman!" dib shouted. " Help me defeat zim! He's trying to destroy the world!"

" Oh really?" Said superman, putting his hands to his waist and looking all triumphant. " NOTHING shall come against me and- AHHHH SQUIRRELS!!!" he flew away.

Zim noticed dib trying to create a superhero so he did the same and batman and robin popped out of his gun.

" Holy jeepers Batman the city is being attacked by beavers!" said robin.

" Shut up you…" Said batman and they disappeared.

Zim becomes quite angry " CURSE YOU!" He yelled out and continued to pursue dib farther into the city.

**AN**: ha………hahahahaahahhaha……..pirates.


	3. my stomach however, is not a fan

**Chapter 3**

- Disclaimer: by the way i know nothing but the ideas so yea (not like anyone cares :p)

Flying through the city on top of his giant rabbit, zim scanned the area for dib, but saw no sign of him. Cursing, zim continued to fly through the area.

Suddenly the sky opened and a huge star ship came flouting out from space. It flouted somewhat from the ground and a door opened.

" Prepare for annihilation!" Said a dark figure.

" What! who the hell are you?" said zim.

Strange breathing sounds and then " I…am Darth Vader!" Said the figure throwing up his fist towards the sky.

" Uh…. huh…. what's wrong with your voice?"

" Allergies" Vader shrugged.

" Oh…well…. this planet isn't big enough for the both of us robot man!" zim challenged.

" oh…well then…come join the dark side! We have… pretzels!"(Pretzels flout around his head)

Zim gasped. "Really?...huh….well…I do like- NO! SUCH MONSTROSITIES WILL NOT TEMPT ME!

Vader shrugged and got back in his star ship and flouted away.

The end

**AN**: lol I just read all this and I couldn't think of anything else to add so I'm ending this chapter right now until I figure out where to go from here… so this really isn't the end….or is it?…….ok, I just confused my brain. What I mean is, its probably not the end but I thought it would be good just to end this chapter like that cause I don't know, im crazy. So yea there will be another chapter so maybe I shouldn't put "the end" cause then you'd think it was the end unless you read this. So please read this.

( lol no im not stupid, I put that on purpose……….my sad attempt to be funny)


	4. Pancakes stare at me

**Chapter 4: pancakes stare at me**

Zim was officially pissed.

He looked for an hour, trying to find dib, but all he did was run into a voracious meat monster that came from the bowls of the sewer and ate his flying rabbit. So, instead of making up something new with his device, he took another hour just to capture the beast.

Now riding on top of the meaty substance (that smelled strangely like jelly (and jiggled like it too.)) he rode through the city while people, animals and strange objects, collided and ran in panic fear through the city, while the creatures he and dib had created, made chaos all around him.

He knew that he would never be able to find dib on his own so he created a massive tower in the middle of city with a humongous orange eyeball on top of it.

"HAHAAA NOW MY LARGE SACK OF EYE MEAT FIND DIB AND-

"**HAHAHA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU FOOL!!!! HAVE YOU NOT REALIZED WHAT YOU HAVE JUST AWAKEND!?!**" the eye spoke.

" I- wait… what?" Zim said eyeballing the eye (hehee eyeballing)

"**YOU HAVE AWOKEN THE GREAT SAURON! (**Ill bet I didn't spell that right**) THE MIGHTY KING OF ALL-**

" Yes, yes that very nice…NOW FIND THAT DIB CREATURE so I may destroy hiiiiimmm…" Zim said icily, his fist trembling in the air.

The eye blankly stared at him. Then it started to go from an orange color to a bright red, as it seemed to grow very angry. A strange hissing noise started to erupt from somewhere with in it.

As it looked like it was about to explode it instantly went back to a cheerful looking orange.

"**Ok,"** It seemed to shrug, "**ON ONE CONDITION HOWEVER!! You must help me find my ring…"**

" Eh?" Zim said, his eyeballs changing different sizes.

" **Um…my ring…I've seemed to have miss placed it…"** The eyeball said revolving its eye all around looking for something. (Wow that confusing).

" Oh well…what does it look like?" said zim.

"IT LOOKS LIKE THIS!" A figure shouted from behind zim.

Zim swirled around in slow motion. "Whoo!!"

There was a man dressed in some fantasy like garment with six other figures standing behind him. The man, who had shouted, held up the ring to the air.

The massive eyeball squinted to look closely at the ring. " **Um**…**No…I don't think that's it**."

The man lowered his arm." What?"

**" I really don't think that's it. It looks a bit rusted over on the side…there, you see? And it looks like the writing on it was carved instead of in engraved…."**

" What's the difference?" The man questioned.

"**THERES A DIFFERENCE!!!! DON'T YOU QUESTION MY PHILOSOPHY!!"** The eye boomed.

Suddenly dib came flying in on the back a cow.

" Hey. What's going on?" He said cheerfully.

" Ah nothing I just agreed to find this ring for the eye if he would sight you out and then destroy you." Zim said nonchalantly.

"Oh…sweet." dib said

"Yes well…. wait! YOU!" zim finally realized. " Prepare to be destroyed!"

" Wait." Dib said stopping zim. " Who made these guys up?" pointing to the seven figures.

" I certainly didn't." Zim sneered. " Who are you?"

"We…ARE THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!!!" The man shouted. Lighting crashed in the air and a moose went flying off in the distance.

Awkward silence

"**Well that's just great,"** said the eye. **" I think ill just be going now."**

" What about your ring?" said dib.

The eye shrugged. **" Ill just get a new one off ebay**." (How does an eye shrug?)

" Wait! what about dib! Destroy him! DESTROY HIM NOW!!" shouted zim.

"**Ta Ta everyone!"** said the eye cheerfully. **" Don't forget to write!"**

The eye then exploded and fell too the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHMGDFUKUO$J$VJHPIGSG, " Zim proclaimed with great relish.

The seven figures then shrugged and flew away.

" Whyyy doooo they alwayys fly awayyyyyyy?" said Gir in a hypnotic tone.

"Where'd you come from?" questioned dib.

Gir paused "I……..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHKIHG: JAHAhaaAOLJHDJKYGFSKDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAJNJD." Gir went mad, running in all directions and then jumped on top of dibs face.

Dib went running in all directions in panic as he fought Gir. Zim stood there dumfounded as he watched them.

Suddenly a lamp came flying out of nowhere and smacked zim in the face making him pass out.

"Weeeeee!! I'm a flyin!" said the lamp, its light flickering on and off inside its lampshade.

Gir jumped off dibs face and on to the lamp. He flew off into the distance still going mad.

Dib stood there in complete disarray, the tube connected to his head quivering slightly.

**An**: my mind needs a bit of cleaning….

Anyways…I told you it wasn't the end. So ha!

… It's a good thing nobody knows who I am. (Except for heather and if she tells anyone shell find me the next night in her bedroom with a knife. Yes heather…that's called a threat)


End file.
